Going from an idea to execution is all about planning.
Moving is a weird thing, especially when you’ve lived in the same place for years. It’s hard to understand that, in two-and-a-half weeks, I’ll be somewhere completely different. For whatever reason, it was easier to think about when it was months away. Every day for the past two years has looked strikingly identical but that reliable constant will abruptly end in 16 short days.
I’ll own different things, talk to different people, and make new friends. I won’t look out my window at forested plains, but at pine trees and sharp peaks. I won’t even have an apartment anymore – I’ll be sharing a room with someone I don’t know yet- possibly multiple people.
Even when plans are confirmed, they don’t always feel real. It didn’t feel real when I interviewed for the position in Montana, or even when I got it. It didn’t feel definitive when I requested a leave of absence from my boss and confirmed the date of vacancy with my landlord. It all still feels very cerebral, theoretical… imaginary.
It’s changing now that I’m getting emails from my apartment about moving out and I’m preparing my teammates for my departure with knowledge transfer meetings. I’m using the word “weeks” instead of “months.”
Leaving is still complicated. I wish I could carve out all the things I love about living in Iowa and take them with me to Montana, but I can’t. And that leaves me with a lot of loose ends to tie up so I can leave in peace.
Questions still sprint through my head constantly. Who’s going to visit me while I’m gone? Who will I meet while I’m there? What will I do if I hate living in Montana? What will I do if I love it? When I return to Des Moines, what will my life look like? Will I decide I’d rather work in an office? I’ve gotten more comfortable living one day, week, and month at a time. But these questions need consideration, and they need it soon.
No matter how unpredictable my life is, I need to be responsible about the risks I’m taking. Living more rambunctiously is a choice that comes with a slew of risks when not properly planned. I can’t make reckless decisions nor neglect my health and well-being just because I want to be spontaneous.
There are real consequences when you fail to plan. Even though it sounds counter-intuitive, the best way to live spontaneously is to plan properly.
Mental Health
The last thing I want is to fail because I didn’t properly account for my own mental health. I’ve been in therapy for a while now, so I like to think I’ve learned a thing or two about myself. I know my limitations and my triggers, and my therapist and I have talked extensively about this move and how best to prepare for it. Here are the most important things I’m doing:
- Friends – What would we do without our friends? I’m blessed to have a fairly close network of friends who live all across the US. I also have close friends with me in Iowa. Unsurprisingly enough, it’s difficult to get all my friends to come to Iowa (weird, right?). So I hatched an idea – maybe it would be easier to get them together in Montana! Turns out, I was right. So many of my friends wanted to visit! I have a friend I’m road-tripping up with, two who are staying while I’m in Bozeman, and two that I’m road-tripping back home with. It’ll be nice to make new friends, but I know I’ll also be grateful to see some familiar faces. Friends are important.
- Family – I know family can be a rough subject for some people, but I have a great relationship with mine. I floated the idea that they could get an Airbnb around a national park while I’m there, and the next thing I knew, we’re booking it! I’m very grateful for my family, and I know spending a weekend with them will feel amazing after being away for so long.
- Book a weekend trip home – I can’t tell you how much stress is mitigated by simply reminding myself, “I’m coming back for a weekend 3 weeks after I leave.” It makes the move feel less permanent, less “cold turkey.” I’m allowing myself to come back home for the weekend and reconnect with the place and people I left. It’s a great thing to remind myself whenever I get anxious about the move. Maybe I’ll love to come back and really miss my friends and family, or I’ll come back and just want to return to Montana. No matter what, it’s worth the mental ease I currently feel.
- Technology – not to give an obvious one, but technology means we at least never have to be too far apart, even on weekends where it might feel that way. A simple FaceTime or phone call goes a long way to distract from feelings of loneliness.
- Plan for (just about) every scenario – I’ve planned for just about everything: what I’ll do if I love Bozeman, what I’ll do if I hate it, what I’ll do if I want to move somewhere completely different. Having these things planned out gives me a lot of comfort. It also helps me rationalize all the scenarios and make peace with them. Now I know what I’ll do if I hate Bozeman. It’s not a failure, it’s just a possible path of my move.
You know yourself best, so you know what triggers unpleasant emotions for you. Reflect on them, and take proactive steps to mitigate them.
Finances
I am a finance major who’s worked at banks and insurance companies for the past three years. At face value, pausing my consulting career to be a hostel receptionist flies in the face of everything I have ever learned in my degree and at my job. But my degree also taught me that risk can be mitigated. If you know how to do it right, you might not even feel the sting of lost income at all.
My job is letting me work remotely for a few weeks, but that’s it. My regular paychecks will, at some point, stop. I still have student loan payments, car payments, therapy appointments, and travel/food expenses to worry about. For me, the name of the game was to 1. Stay on my company’s payroll for as long as possible, and 2. Mitigate the hell out of my financial risk.
The first, and perhaps most important part of this, is that I have a job set up as a backup plan. I’m not quitting my job; if I decide to move to Bozeman, I’ll be on a version of sabbatical where I won’t get paid until I decide to work with a client again. This was a big deal for me. If I don’t like this new life and I return to Des Moines, this is a great backup. After all, they have proven to be fairly flexible and progressive, and have supported me even as I’m leaving.
For more info on how I’m doing this,
The general rule of thumb for your emergency fund is to have enough money in a savings account to cover six months of living expenses. That way you have a wide buffer if something unfortunate happens, like getting fired or financing a big expense. I live fairly frugally to begin with, so I don’t spend a lot of money outside the occasional takeout dinner or night on the town. So, my dollar stretches a pretty long way.
My largest expenses are rent, groceries, and loan payments. Well, I’m not paying anything in rent for the next few months, and I’ll get a food stipend that covers most groceries. That takes thousands off, and makes for easy budget planning.
Your wealth is not just about the money you have coming in, it’s also about the money you’re spending. Currently American households spend a whopping 30% of their annual income on housing costs. That’s a symptom of a broken system, and we all deserve better. In this blog series, I’ve shown you multiple ways to spend zero dollars on housing and be able to live in the most beautiful places on Earth. That means you can take a pay cut of up to 30% and effectively make more money. That’s huge.
Finances are nothing to joke around with. Like it or not, a lot of society is ruled by money. No matter what life you choose to lead, healthy finances are a necessity. The better you plan your finances, the easier it’ll be to change your life.
The Life I Left and the Life I'll Return To
It’s important not to burn any bridges. I’m taking a leave of absence from my job, not quitting. I’m also not trashing the company I work for because I really appreciate what they’re doing for me, and I feel valued there even as I’m moving away.
I’m not telling my friends to f*** off, I’m not leaving a family member in distress, and I’m definitely not trying to hurt anyone by going.
I want my departure to be understood. If I decide to stay in Bozeman, I want my decision to be respected. If I come back to Iowa, I want my return to be celebrated.
I’m not leaving Iowa because I hate anyone in it. I love Iowa. It’s where I grew up, and it’s where I want to end up one day. It’s home to me, and that will likely never change, even if another place becomes home as well. That’s a magical thing and not something I want to risk losing.
So, I want to make sure I leave with grace and not jeopardize my ability to ever come back.
Big moves don’t require big risks. A lot of it is manageable as long as you have the foresight and self-knowledge to mitigate it.
Life changes can be difficult even if they’re extremely exciting. In fact, it’s probably a good thing to know it hurts a little. That way you know that you built a good life in that city, and even though you’re moving on to different things, you’ll still always have a place you love to go back to.
Planning is important; if you learn how to do it properly, anything is possible
