For a while, and for many reasons, I thought the big things would change my life. I thought years of work would be worth it if I went on that huge trip. I thought the exhilaration and ecstasy of big concerts, beach trips, and backpacking routes would make my daily life interesting. They’d make the sacrifices I made worth it. They didn’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I love planning big changes in my life. I have so many far-off, sky-high goals that I don’t know what to do with all of them. I’ve gotten big promotions, started long relationships, and earned fantastic travel stories. I have no shortage of big, earthquake-level events in my life.
However, no matter how many trips I planned or the changes I made, my day-to-day life didn’t feel better.
Where Did I Go Wrong?
For a while, I didn’t know why I wasn’t happier with my life. After all, I have a pretty great rap sheet. I’ve been to 11 countries, lived in 7 different places, traveled well and often, and I’ve done a lot I’m proud of. But, for some reason, none of that gave me lasting satisfaction. Trip highs wore off, accomplishments faded, and I was always left with a mediocre day-to-day life. It infuriated me.
Don’t get me confused with being ungrateful – I’ve been very blessed my entire life. I’m lucky to have traveled to all the places I did, I’m grateful that I’ve been able to live in all the towns I have, and I’m immensely proud of myself for all I’ve accomplished. But, there was always a problem – a lingering dissatisfaction with my day-to-day life. And I didn’t know why until now.
Simply Put: My Daily Life Kinda Sucked
I realized upon leaving my corporate life that the big things don’t change you. You can plan the coolest vacation on the planet… If your day-to-day outside that trip is mediocre, you’re not going to feel happy. Aside from the insane high of that vacation, your life will be the exact same as if you never took that trip at all.
I could go on multiple backpacking trips a year, spend thousands on flights and gear, and take all my PTO and then some on trips. But it doesn’t work. It doesn’t make my actual day-to-day life better. Why? Because I’m not changing my life… I’m just adding escapes from it.
I used to think I’d love a mediocre life if I was able to escape it often. I thought a cubicle would suit me if I planned out some amazing PTO. I thought a boring job would be worth it if I could afford that new car. Looking back, I don’t know how I ever thought a “good” life could be measured by how easily and frequently I could escape it or distract myself from it.
My day-to-day life used to bore me. I didn’t feel fulfilled unless I was daydreaming. The things that made me happy – mountains, hiking, being in nature, exploring – were prioritized as side quests, not as the main storyline. Why? I knew I would be happier among the trees, but I thought that happiness could be sectioned off into discrete pieces. If I enjoyed nature a few weeks out of the year, then surely that happiness would last in my concrete jungle, right?
Wrong.
I thought the feeling I got from a week in the trees would keep me warm in the weeks and months I spent outside of them. For some reason, I never thought I could just live among the trees.
A Popular (and False) Midwestern Trope
It’s taught me a lot about a mindset I heard – and believed in – for most of my life. It’s a simple idea: live somewhere cheap so you can afford the “big things” like travel, a nice house, a new car, etc. more often. In the Midwest, this attitude is extremely popular. If you haven’t heard someone explain it before, the idea is essentially that living in “boring” towns that aren’t tourist destinations, but have a cost of living that’s far less than the national average is worth it because you get to go on far more trips… I know a lot of my readers live in the midwest and will get hurt by my breaking rank… but I don’t think it’s a good idea.
I used to think that path would work because I never thought living in gorgeous places was really an option. But I was wrong. The job I got wasn’t hard to get. Just straight up, that’s true. My job also comes with countless benefits such as cheap housing, free transportation, and endless discounts on activities and gear. The pay’s not too bad, either. I can easily save money, live comfortably, and grow professionally while living in places I’ve dreamed of.
It doesn’t make sense for me to give up this life now. it doesn’t make any sense to me move back to a place where the main goal is to “save up” until I have enough money to travel… to the same place I just lived in full time!
Changing the little things creates a life you don’t long to escape from. Everything, from the people I work with to the views I get just by walking outside, this life fills me. Each little thing here is amazing. Each walk is elevated and each cup of coffee is more enjoyable. I’ve thought for a while that the mountains are where I belong, and it shows. Each little facet of my life feels more fulfilled when I’m here. Hell, even my walks to the bus stop rule.
Since moving to Aspen, I haven’t dreamt of a vacation. I haven’t gone shopping for some big purchase. I haven’t dreamt of escaping my day-to-day because I love it. I don’t need big escapes or changes to be happy anymore. I don’t want to spend a week away from my life – I want to keep living the life I have. If someone offered me a paid trip to Bora Bora, I don’t even know if I’d take it. I’d spend the whole time feeling like I’m missing out on the life I’ve built here.
What Do "The Little Things" Look Like?
What am I talking about when I say “Little things?” Every day, we do countless small, seemingly insignificant actions. We wake up, look outside, walk, catch a ride, drive, eat, work, go to the bathroom, and talk to people. These little things make up our real lives. These are the things that determined whether my everyday life excited me. No matter how many huge plans I conjured up, the little things are what changed my life.
I changed my morning commute through concrete to one through the mountain air. I changed my lunch breaks from cowering in my cubicle to floating on snow. I changed my free time of movies and distractions to exploring places I find beautiful. I spent my mornings driving to work, watching the sunrise over snowy peaks. Even a look out my apartment window is better – where there used to be construction and traffic is now a massive peak hiding behind the ridges that lie on the far side of my parking lot.
None of the things I just listed are “big”. After all, I’m just describing walking to bus stops, driving to work, looking out my window, and eating lunch. But here, all of that excites me. It all feels significant to me. All of them, in combination with each other, bring each day so much higher.
The little things aren’t euphoric; they don’t give you the culture shock of a new country or seeing your favorite artist live, but they elevate you. And I’d take a month of joy over a day of euphoria.
Everything is elevated (literally, haha) here.
What Do Your Little Things Look Like?
I know Aspen isn’t everyone’s main goal, but just follow the path of whatever geography, city, or country you love. There’s a way to get there, and the hardest part is accepting that you can do it… and it’s probably easier than you think.
I know I took this to an extreme and quit my job; left most of my possessions, friends, and family behind; and became a ski bum for the winter. Not everyone needs to do that. If you think that is what you need, then give me a call because I’d love to recruit you to the life 😉 but it’s not necessary. You know yourself and what you need. You know what you dream of. You know what life you’d be excited to live.
Maybe you don’t even need to move. Maybe it’s a job change, a new friend group, or a new hobby you need in your life. You owe it to yourself to be excited to live your everyday life. You deserve to wake up and look forward to your day simply for the fact that it is your day.
It’s possible to have a life full of amazing little things. It’s possible to live in a place where the very act of living there excites you. You don’t have to live for the big escapes and distractions. Live a life you don’t want to escape from.